Holly Comesoftly

It is unknown exactly where or when Holly Comesoftly was born. What is known is that she was, in fact, born. Not much can be said of the formative years either. The earliest accounts of her involve massive amounts of marijuana and the Georgia State Police. By the mid 1990s she had bedded most of the men from the UK, New Zealand, and Scandinavia and was very sore and dehydrated. Not enough can be said about her massive perfect breasts or that sweet, sweet ass except that Ron Jeremy once proclaimed, "nice boobies." Holly loves to exercise regularly and can tie a cherry stem with her tongue. She is a gracious hostess and has the numbers of all restaurants that deliver within 10 miles on speed-dial. She has been known to indulge in the odd cocktail but only if it's within arms reach or at least in a nearby room. Unfortunately, Holly has had a health scare and was recently tested for a possible panty allergy. She'll be going commando until the test results are final. Holly is tireless in her charity work and has spent countless hours telling people where and how to shove things. Is she the next Oprah or merely a beguiling saint with a flawless rack? Ms. Comesoftly resides in Texas.

I Used to Think Scott Baio Was a Douche, But Did He Have to Prove Me Right?

I Used to Think Scott Baio Was a Douche, But Did He Have to Prove Me Right?

I’ve never really had a high opinion of Scott Baio. I went from no opinion to a relatively bad opinion after his reality show, Scott Baio is 45 …and Single. If you caught any of the show this came as no surprise… at the end of it Scott Baio, manchild reluctantly proposed to his long [...]

Disneyland Paris Is Not The Happiest Place On Earth

Disneyland Paris Is Not The Happiest Place On Earth

Disneyland Paris officials are investigating after two park employees committed suicide in the past six weeks, under working conditions which a trade union described as “humiliating”. The Disneyland division of French union Force Ouvriere (FO) believes the suicides are associated with poor work conditions. The first of the year was a chef who threw himself in front [...]

In Appreciation of Philip Glenister

In Appreciation of Philip Glenister

This month brings the final chapter to the original Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes series with series three of Ashes. It should go without saying, then, that this month we had to appreciate Philip Glenister,  the Gene Genie himself. Before Life on Mars, I had only seen the softer side of Philip Glenister. He was [...]

All Ladies Love LL Cool J... except Sarah Palin

All Ladies Love LL Cool J… except Sarah Palin

First let me say say that I am convinced that all ladies love LL Cool J.  My mom loves LL Cool J. Really, what’s not to love?  Sarah “maverick, pretend(and real) gun-shooting, chronic winker and evader of questions” Palin has a new special that’s suppose to air on, surprise, Fox News Channel called “Real American [...]

In Appreciation of Colin Firth

In Appreciation of Colin Firth

Well, it’s that time of the month when we appreciate someone new. Someone deserving and slightly under the radar, last month it was the fabulous Bill Nighy.  This month, what with Valentine’s Day around the corner and all, we’ve decided to salute Colin Firth. Because nothin’ says lovin’ like a guy in a wet shirt. [...]

Spartacus: Blood and Sand-- Where's a Good Homoerotic Overtone When You Need One?

Spartacus: Blood and Sand– Where’s a Good Homoerotic Overtone When You Need One?

So, Tuesday night I got invited to a sneak peek at the new Starz original series, Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I was actually looking forward to it.  Blood, sex, and violence in a period of time that involves hot guys greased and leathered beating the crap out of each other appeals to my nether regions. [...]

We Have No Women Today

We Have No Women Today

If you’re in your 20s, single and into Chinese guys, I’ve got great news for you.  In the 1980s China began it’s now infamous one child policy.  To be fair, I can see their point.  It is the most populous country in the world. There was a very real threat of overpopulation and a general [...]

Baby Jesus, Thank You for Conveyor Belt of Love

Baby Jesus, Thank You for Conveyor Belt of Love

Folks, Christmas came a little late for me.  But better late than never with ABC’s debut of Conveyor Belt of Love… its pure magic. I don’t know how they could possibly top the first show, but by God, I intent to find out. Here’s the gist, ladies chose to date men sent down, you guessed [...]

Things We've Learned in the Past Decade

Things We've Learned in the Past Decade

This being the last week of the decade, which I’ve been told we’re calling  the Oughts, I thought I’d go over a few things we learned.  In no particular order: If you want to be famous and you’re not 17 years old yet, then the path is clear… do drugs, go crazy, do a stint [...]

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