Geppetto Jones

Described as a man of fair intellect, Mr. Jones has always seen himself as something of a half-assed Renaissance man. Mr. Jones has a near photographic memory which allows him to converse on a wide range of subjects that are of very little interest to him. The things that do interest him (film, football, comic books, market volatility to name a few) all require a mild level of obsessive compulsive behavior. This site is attempt to organize his random thoughts. The late great George Carlin said it best, "These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools." Mr. Jones resides in Southern California and enjoys contributing to the decline of Western Civilization as a television executive.

Unemployed Hick Willing To Be Hunted For $10,000 The economy sucks and job prospects are sketchy at best. So unemployed 28 year-old Mork Encino has launched a website advertising his humble services. What is he selling? For $10,000 Mr. Encino will let people hunt him; if you pony up an extra $2,000 you can hunt him naked. Well I guess it’s implied in [...] Full Story	Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead A dwarf porn star who was billed as Gordon Ramsay’s double has been found dead under bizarre circumstances, according to the UK tabloid The Sunday Sport. Percy Foster’s 3 foot 6 inch body was discovered in a badger’s den in Wales. The Sunday Sport ran with an appropriate tabloid headline. The report says the diminutive [...] Full Story	Rent Your Bathroom to Strangers- There’s An App for That, CLOO Back when I was a kid– you held it. Had to go poo, wait till you get home! Pull over by the side of the road. Wait till the train stops and pray there isn’t some freak in the restroom or that there’s enough toilet paper. But now there’s an app for that!? Download CLOO, [...] Full Story
Kate Gosselin Meltsdown Over Pizza For Her Bodyguard If you’ve read this blog over the years, you know that my disdain for reality show twit Kate Gosselin knows no bounds. With the finale of her show, hopefully her eight kids will finds some peace outside the glare of TLC’s ever present lights and cameras. But not before CNN’s Anderson Cooper gives Kate an [...] Full Story	My Facebook Date Made Me His Getaway Driver Oh, Facebook thank you for bring two star-crossed young people in South Wales together. Leah Gibbs, 23, was looking for love online. 21-year-old Adam Minton was secretly looking for something different– a getaway driver. The two decided to go out on a date after meeting on Facebook. Gibbs’ plan was to spend an evening watching [...] Full Story	Michele Bachmann Vanishing Before Our Very Eyes Last night’s, GOP debate was funny for a number of reasons. We finally got to see the squinty-eyed Rick Perry mix it up with the rest of the Republican jokefulls. Looking at the assemblage of candidates on stage at the Reagan Library, I couldn’t help but laugh. Rick Perry and Mitt Romney sucked all the air [...] Full Story
Screw Up Your Kids With These Books Just in time for the tenth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, there’s a new coloring book that helps explain that dark day to kids. It is entitled “We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom.” The book begins with Osama bin Laden plotting to attack the United States and ends with bin [...] Full Story	Signs of the Apocalypse – Toddlers & Tiaras, Falsies On A 4 Year Old The end must be nigh. TLC’s hit reality show Toddlers & Tiaras, featured a 4 year-old contestant, Maddy, who was dressed up as Dolly Parton. Complete with fake boobs and butt. Please tell me someone around this kid was creeped out by this. Of course not. Her stylist Michael confesses that he’s not a fan [...] Full Story	Best Job For A Furry– Ever Personally, furries creep me out. It’s one of those fetishes that I don’t understand, but hey whatever floats your boat. If you really enjoy wearing costume tails, ears and/or animal mascot costumes go for it. It’s a free country. And I guess it’s even better when you can find a friend to indulge you. Now [...] Full Story