Apparently Happiness Isn’t Achieved in A Massage Parlor

Gallop, the company that helped polarize America into Red and Blue States got bored with politics and decided to measure happiness in this country.  According to the New York Times, Gallup randomly surveyed 1,000 Americans to measure the elements of “the good life.”

Gallup then came up with a statistical composite of the happiest person in America, based on what demographic characteristics are most closely  correlated with higher levels of well-being. Gallup said that the happiest person would be: male, Asian-American, a religious Jew, self-employed, living in Hawaii, married, has children, receiving a household income of at least $120,000. Oddly enough this man does exist, his name is Alvin Wong, and he lives in Honolulu. See his video below.

I’m glad they found the statistical match out there in Hawaii.  How many guys are there like Alvin Wong out there?  According to Gallup the polar opposite of Mr. Wong would be the least happy person in America– a 4’10”, middle aged Muslim woman without children who is separated from her husband and earns under $12,000 a year. She’s also an unemployed manufacturing worker in West Virginia.

So after reading through the article I’ve put together a quick little survey you can take to see how happy you are according the the Gallop data.  Like golf, the low score points to Happiness; the higher the number the more you lean towards being the least happy in America.

Happiest to Least Happy in America

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RELIGION
1 – Jews
2 – Mormons
3 – Atheists/Agnostics
4 – Roman Catholics
5 – “Other non-Christians”
6 – Protestants
7 – Muslims

GENDER
1 – Men
2 – Women

RACE
1 – Asians
2 – Whites
3 – Hispanics
4 – Blacks
5 – Those not defined above

MARITAL STATUS
1 – Married
2 – Single
3 – People w/ domestic partners
4 – People who have been widowed
5 – Divorced
6 – Married but separated

CHILDREN
1 – Have children
2 – Don’t have children

AGE
1 – 65 and older
2 – 30 and under
3 – People 31 to 64

INCOME
1 – Making More than $75K
2 – Making $40K-$74k
3 – Making $20K-$39K
4 – Making Less than $20K

GEOGRAPHY
1 – West
2 – East
3 – Midwest
4 – South

EMPLOYMENT
1 – Entrepenuers/Own your own business
2 – Professionals
3 – Not the first two and not the last one
4 – Transport and manufacturing

HEIGHT
1 – Tall
2 – Average
3 – Short