Criminals Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine

A 27-year-old woman has been charged with possession of heroin after 54 bags of the drug were allegedly found inside her genitals.  Karin Mackaliunas, of Scranton, Pennsylvania, was detained by police on suspicion of burglary at a bar in neighbouring Dunmore after crashing her car on Sunday.

After searching her for weapons at the scene of the crash, police officer Nancy Baumann found three bags of heroin in Mackaliunas’s jacket, police say.  As Mackaliunas was being driven to the police station for a drug possession charge, Officer Baumann noticed Mackaliunas fidgeting in the back seat of the car.

 

After the two women got involved in a struggle during a more thorough search at the police station, Mackaliunas allegedly asked to speak to the officer in charge, Sergeant Michael Mayer.

According to the police report, she allegedly told him she had more drugs hidden inside her vagina.

Mackaliunas was driven by ambulance, under a police escort, to Scranton’s Community Medical Centre where she was examined by a doctor.  Police claim she had 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags, eight and a half prescription pills and $51.22 in cash hidden inside her genitals.

I have a few questions:

1- Why?

2 – When did Ms. Mackaliunas discover that her lady bits functioned like the TARDIS?  Not the time travel part– its bigger on the inside than on the outside.

3- So she’s a mule going to deliver drugs.  How did she get the job?  Did guys know her in the neighborhood?  Was she known as someone who could make all kind of objects and loose change disappear?  Was there a tryout?  Did she practice?

And why are there copycats?  Please don’t tell me this is the next step in human evolution.

JAILED MAN ‘SMUGGLES IN POT, CELL PHONE IN ANUS’

Tattoo artist Earl Lee Vogt, who was sent to prison for a drugs offence on Tuesday, smuggled a mobile phone, MP3 player,  headphones, marijuana and $140 in cash into jail by hiding them in his rectum, thesmokinggun.com reports.

The items were found during a search on Wednesday when a prison officer detected the smell of pot. Vogt, 29, above, has been charged with smuggling a controlled substance into prison and unauthorized possession of a wireless communication device