Forever Lazy, Perpetually Pathetic Clothing

Do you remember when terrorism was the big thing?  Before we were all afraid of losing our jobs and our homes.  Before those a-holes on Wall Street walked away with our retirement accounts.  You know the good old days.

Before “they” had their own revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya.  When we were told that “they” hated us for our freedom.  News flash– they don’t hate us for our freedom, our scantily clad women, or crappy reality television.  They hate us for this… the Forever Lazy.

I didn’t think it was possible to make anything more ridiculous than a Snuggie or a Slanket.  But hey some one came up with an adult onesie– “for great escapes, when duty calls.”  Who the hell would leave the house in one of these things?  Let alone go to a tailgate party and then into a stadium full of normally dressed human beings.

How mentally deficient do you have to be purchase and wear one of these?  Is this for people who think that a sweatshirt and sweatpants are too complicated or restrictive. The Forever Lazy takes the old Seinfeld joke to a whole new level:

“You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.’”

Although I do have to give it to the marketing geniuses for populating the ad with young fit people who make the Forever Lazy lifestyle seem like the best thing ever.  The better to sucker in the real people who will buy this thing– the elderly shuts ins who will appear on the next season of Hoarders.