Holly’s Rant on You Tube Sensations

I was watching clips from the Today show today and they had that kid who got a book for Christmas. Needless to say he was not thrilled and proceeded to call it poo. Fair enough. I know I’ve gotten my share of poo gifts through the years.

The clip is, apparently, a big hit on You Tube. It was such a big hit it was deemed worthy of mention on the show earlier this week. Yesterday or today the kid and his family were on the Today Show. Now, maybe it’s just me, but when did showing your kid throw a temper tantrum; not only illustrating the child’s poor manners but some of your failures as a parent, become newsworthy.

Nothing on You Tube is newsworthy. Nothing. That coach who allegedly REALLY likes his wife’s feet; not newsworthy. The man just likes feet. Nothing wrong with liking feet. Your kid hopped up on drugs from the dentist; not news. Let’s face it the fact that you even filmed it kind of proves my whole “your a shitty parent” point.

I once let a friend (at the time) of mine get smacked in the head with a toilet seat as I held her hair back while she was puking her guts out. At the time, she kept trying to smack me with drunken flailing arms and called me a “F*cking whore” repeatedly. Even though I haven’t spoken to the bitch in over a decade it would never have occurred to me to film her much less post it. That would make me an asshole.

Some of these You Tube sensations (every time I see You Tube in the same sentence I always think jazz hands and pageant moms) are interesting. I enjoyed watching Susan Boyle get told she was talented in spite of her looks. I must admit the Old Spice Guy is quite the cutie.

But please, for the love of God; I had no interest in your child’s terrible manners, I already know you are a shit parent, and you’re still white and really can’t dance normally much less in a wedding dress even with the super cool shades. I, sadly, found most if not all clips by doing a Google search for, I shit you not, You Tube sensation.

The weddings all go down the same. Only one person of the couple actually gets into it. Either he dances his ass off and she looks slightly embarrassed or she goes crazy and he dances like he did in junior high. You’ll never hear anyone says, “Oh my god. Did you see that You Tube clip from the wedding. They were amazing dancers.”

No, you don’t. Someone will generously say,”wow, look at him go.” They really want to finish with “I didn’t think that pudgy white boy could move so quickly from place to place OR she will be patting herself on the back for the next 20 years at how “craazy” and “fun”  HER wedding was.

If you post something on You Tube that is not you and probably humiliates the person in the clip you ARE, in fact, any combination of the following: bad parent of shitty child(ren), an asshole, a total douche, a REALLY bad “friend” (Miley, are you paying attention?), and/or think you are much cooler than you actually are.