Lovesick Doctor Dies In Chimney

The body of a prominent Bakersfield physician has been found wedged in her estranged boyfriend’s chimney.  Chim chiminey, Chim chim cher-ee the doc was not as lucky as luck can be.

Jacquelyn Kotarac, a 49-year old doctor, had been in a troubled on-again, off-again relationship with William Moodie. On Aug. 26 Kotorac who had been seen drinking earlier in the evening headed to Moodie’s house to confront him about their ongoing problems.

And here is our first dilemma… alcohol and a desire to confront to one ex don’t mix. Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo are not the best counselors.

Knowing that Kotarac was parked nearby and hoping to avoid a fight, Moodie snuck out of his house. Unaware that her ex had left, Kotorac attempted to pry open a door to the home using a shovel, failing that she then climbed on the roof.

Bakersfield Police Department said: “All the evidence, thus far, indicated the woman voluntarily accessed the roof via a permanent ladder and voluntarily removed the chimney cap then slid down the flue feet first.”

Our second dilemma… Thinking that breaking and entering your ex’s residence is a good idea.   Is Bakersfield so devoid of quality men that climbing down a chimney makes rational sense? The news media keeps talking about what good and intelligent doctor Kotarac was.  That’s beside the point.

Anyone remember Space Shuttle astronaut Lisa Nowak from a few years back.  She was the one who drove the 900 miles from Texas to Florida in a diaper to kidnap the girlfriend of an astronaut she had previously had an affair with.  Nowak was an “intelligent” woman who was a Naval officer and held degrees in aeronautical engineering. Just because someone can excel at a high level professionally doesn’t mean that they’re not one sandwich short of a picnic in their personal life.

What about using the ladder to get over the backyard fence?  Break a window?  Send a text message?  But I guess that’s where the alcohol came into play.  How else could a person convince themselves that entering a chimney that was only 15 by 7 inches at its largest point with a flue that narrowed to just four inches at its base made any sense.

In the narrow space, Kotarac found herself unable to breathe. She died of “mechanical asphyxiation”, because the pressure of being in the tightly constructed place compressed her lungs.

The doctor’s body remained undetected in the chimney for three days, until a house-sitter detected the odor and, upon further examination, saw fluids dripping down into the fireplace. Sadly the doctor had almost made it in.  She was suspended just two feet above the actual fireplace, wedged in the chimney.  Rescuers worked for five hours to dismantle the chimney and dislodge the woman’s corpse.

“She made an unbelievable error in judgement and nobody understands why, and unfortunately she’s passed away,” Moodie told the AP.  “She had her issues, she had her demons, but I never lost my respect for her.”  That’s nice to say, but her totally off the rails behavior brings new meaning to songs like Crazy in Love and Crazy for You.