10 Worst Fashion Faux Pas

We are Anglophiles here and tend to agree with most things that cross the pond.  So when the Telegraph came out with their list of the Ten Worst Fashion Faux Pas,  I was intrigued.  The stuff that I try to turn a blind eye to gets on their nerves too.

10 worst fashion faux pas

1. Flabby bare midriff – I’m not saying that everyone should starve themselves, because that’s just as bad in the opposite direction.  I’m advocating that if the midriff isn’t your best feature– then find some clothing that doesn’t draw the world’s attention to it.  There is nothing wrong with buying clothes that fit, despite what MTV, TMZ and People Magazine show you.

2. Track suit tucked into socks with athletic shoes – What would old guys in New Jersey wear if this was banned?  Hell, what would old guys wear in general?  Yes, Al Davis I’m talking about you.  It doesn’t make you look more virile.

3. Showing G-string above jeans - The whale tail… there is an incredibly small percentage of world’s population who can make it look good (mostly Brazilian supermodels).  A slightly larger percentage can make it look slutty, and an even bigger percentage of the population can make you regret having looked in their general direction when attempting to imitate the first two groups.  Resulting in things you can’t unsee.

4. Socks with sandals – Its geeky and just makes someone look uptight.

5. Plumber’s Crack – Its unsightly and no one has ever done a porno where the plumber’s crack was the turn on.  Male ass cleavage just doesn’t have the same allure as other cleavage.

6. A ‘muffin top’ over low rise jeans – For the love of God, please tell all the teenagers and young adults in my neighborhood to stop with the low cut jeans.  You don’t look good, you look ridiculous.  I don’t get the lemming mentality, be brave and buy a pair of jeans that actually fits. You’ll be more comfortable and it will look more attractive.

There’s even a medical reason to wear jeans that fit, according to Wikipedia:
In the Canadian Medical Association Journal 2003, Dr. Malvinder S. Parmar pointed out that wearing tight low-rise jeans may put pressure on a sensory nerve, the lateral cutaneous nerve of thigh, which can cause pain and paresthesia in the nerve’s area of distribution. This is known as Meralgia paresthetica  and is associated with a tingling or a burning sensation on the lateral aspect of the thigh. The condition was diagnosed in three mildly obese  women who had worn low-rise jeans for 6–8 months. The condition resolved itself after they avoided wearing low-rise jeans for 4–6 weeks.

7. Head-to-toe animal print – I think it depends on the print and the person wearing it.  There’s a time and place for it, at a press conference when your husband admits to sleeping with hookers– not the best time.  For that matter you have to throw in excessive tie-dye and paisley.

8. Mullet haircut - If Iran has the good sense to ban it why can’t we in the West? Never thought Ayatollah Ali Khamenei would be more progressive than us.

9. Head-to-toe Burberry check - Its a British thing, but really too much of one pattern no matter how much it cost or who the designer is just doesn’t work.

10. Black shoes with white socks – White socks without athletic shoes are pretty much a no-no any way you cut it.

Things that didn’t make the list but probably should have – puffy shirts, orange jumpsuits, anything written on the seat of your clothing.  Got more?  Tell us.