Academy Awards... Meh

So the question came up this morning regarding whether or not I was dreading the Academy Awards show this weekend, which they enjoy watching and I routinely abstain from (the last at least 5-7 years). I came up with a response which on reflection I thought you all might enjoy:

Watching the academy awards will cause no pain as I will not be paying attention to the spittle strewn prattle and self-congratulatory reach-arounds passed among the illegitimate brain farts of a Lovecraftian undergod who’s final successful subjugation of this plane of existence will be accomplished by armies entirely composed abstractions: the squeals of delight and dismay over what has been strewn over the body of which abysmally talented he- or she-tart, their little attention starved hands already spasmodically grasping in pantomime of the aforementioned reach-arounds or alternatively for the mini-bar sized bottles of Stoli and Vicodin stashed on their persons to work up a sufficiently heady foam for when they attend to the microphone.

Skeleton Oscar