Chinese Woman Seeks Jessica Alba Via Surgery

Hey honey, its almost Valentine’s Day.  You know what would be a great present?  If you would completely abandon your self-esteem and go under the knife for me.  That’s right, if you want to be with me… I think I’d enjoy this relationship much more if you looked like Jessica Alba.

I couldn’t make that up if I tried.   A 21-year-old Chinese woman known in the press as Xiaoqing, said she was heartbroken after she broke up with her boyfriend, who was infatuated with the actress who has starred in hit movies such as “Fantastic Four” and “Into the Blue.”  So she’s going to get plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba.

Xiaoqing, who works at an Internet firm in Shanghai, said that during their 18-month relationship, her 28-year-old boyfriend had been obsessed with Jessica Alba, adorning their apartment with her photographs and talking about her incessantly. She said that while her boyfriend had not forced her to look like Alba, he always hinted that the wanted her to resemble his favorite star and even bought her a blond wig to wear.

A month ago, Xiaoqing left her boyfriend, because his Alba obsession became TOO much for her to bear. But now she says she can’t get over the break-up and wants him back. “When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was very sad,” she told Reuters at the Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital which has agreed to help her fulfill her wish.

“My friends… kept consoling me but it did not work, so they suggested I do plastic surgery to look like her (Jessica Alba).”

The hospital said Xiaoqing would need multiple surgeries to alter her eyes and nose so that they would resemble Alba’s. They also agreed to do it for free to showcase their surgery skills.  Hospital director Jiang Shan said he had personally spoken to Xiaoqing and advised her to think seriously about the procedure.

“If she wants to look much better than she does now, for example if she wants her skin to look smoother and her overall facial facade to look more beautiful, I think we are able to help her fulfill her wishes,” Jiang said.  “But if she wants to totally look like Jessica Alba, I would think she is still not confident of herself and that she needs to solve this problem psychologically.”

Finally a single voice of reason in a county of a billion people!

“As a member of the younger generation in this country, I have a choice to decide what I want in life,” Xiaoqing said. “I have never been able to let him go. If in the end he still does not accept me after I undergo the plastic surgeries, I will give up. I will then choose to let go, start afresh and live life by myself,” she added.

Hmm, so you’ll be cut, bleed, bruise, swell and after all that, if it doesn’t work out you’ll be OK with it all.  Please get this woman some psychiatric help.

The hospital said it was not unusual for young women such as Xiaoqing to undergo cosmetic surgery to look like celebrities.  The government estimates billions of yuan are spent each year by Chinese on plastic surgery, which is seen by many as a way to boost job or marriage prospects in a highly competitive society.

I don’t understand.  There is a SHORTAGE of women in China, why are you doing this!?  Find someone who likes how you look.  The law of supply and demand says you can shop around for a guy who isn’t a complete douchebag.  And what does he look like?  Is he China’s Brad Pitt?  Something tells me no.

And then the doctors who are making this into a publicity stunt, how can they sleep at night? Xiaoqing is already a more fragile than an a Fabergé egg– so let’s make her look like her ex-boyfriend’s favorite actress of all time.  That will solve everything!