Jersey Shore 2, Assault On the Hamptons or South Beach

The New York Post has broken the story that the controversial cast of MTV’s hit reality show finally inked a deal for a sophomore season, but they’re taking their fist-pumping, oompa-loompa antics to another beach.  MTV scouts are eyeing several locations in the Hamptons, Delaware, and possibly South Beach.

Negotiations began at $5,000 per show for Snooki, J-Woww, Pauly D, and Mike “The Situation.  Talks stalled during the week as MTV realized that the “Jersey Shore” stars had let the series’ popularity go to their heads.

“They are totally replaceable”, said an MTV insider. MTV already has a full complement of potential replacements in the wings. “Finding obnoxious, pushy, trash-talking idiots who want to be on TV is as easy as falling off a log.”

When Snooki, The Situation, Pauly D and the gang realized the network truly had a backup cast of ”guidos” and ”guidettes” spray tanned, oiled, and ready.  The newly minted and disposable reality stars quickly inked their deals.  So the cast is back for about $10,000 an episode, well short of the $75,000 the cast of The Hills makes.

Not one to waste his new found fame Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is launching his own cologne, “The Sitch.”  Great now people all over the country can smell like the Jersey Shore.

And The National Italian American Foundation still hates the show. The organization has issued a statement expressing “continued concerns” about the program’s depictions of Italian Americans in the media. “This program and its characters had more in common with the adolescent residents of  Animal House than with Italian Americans.” The “outrageous behavior” on the show, says NIAF, which is “laden with promiscuity, debauchery, and violence,” is “a disgrace.”