Canadian Genius Mulled by Tiger

Why do all of these animal attack stories have common elements?  Yet again we have the requisite:  alcohol, young people, and the breaking and entering a secured animal habitat. I drink quite a bit and I’ve been to a zoos.  And yet it has never occurred to me during a drunken haze to go get up close and personal with a jungle cat.

The latest proof that human intelligence is overrated comes from Calgary.  Last Monday, just after 1am a pair of 27-year-old men scaled the zoo’s 8 foot high fence and then they hopped another four foot fence designed to keep the public at a safe distance from a Siberian tiger enclosure.

While one of the men was standing in front of a third fence that keeps the cats secure, a two-year-old male tiger named Vitali caught his arm through the wires, biting and swiping at him. The man’s friend managed to free him and the pair scrambled to safety.  Police say that the motive behind Monday’s dangerous stunt at the zoo, which sent one man to hospital with serious injuries, remains a mystery.

Hmm.  Mystery?  Its called being drunk and painfully stupid.  I’m not a zoologist, but I’ve seen enough Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and Animal Planet to know that you don’t mess with tigers.  Especially, when you’re three sheets to the wind.

The victim, who suffered serious bite and claw injuries, remains in hospital. He was sedated, and police did not have a chance to interview him after the attack.  Zookeepers say the tiger, “one of our most laid-back cats,” was likely spooked by the intruders. The cat, who showed signs of being stressed after the break-in, suffered no injuries to his paws or mouth and eventually calmed down.

“He’s perfectly fine. A tiger is a carnivore, so they’re going to behave naturally, and that’s his natural reaction,” said zoopkeeper Sinclair-Smith.  The tiger was either acting out of aggression or protecting himself, said Dr. Sandie Black, the zoo’s head vet.  “(The tiger) has a fairly significant armament at his disposal: very sharp claws. My guess would be that the gentleman was  hooked by a claw and his arm dragged in and continued to be attacked from that point.”

And a thank you to the zoo personnel for stating the obvious– the tiger behaved exactly as nature intended.