Night Train Misses Drunken Teen

A drunk French teenager narrowly escaped death last week after falling asleep on a railway track and slumbering undisturbed as a high-speed train speed over him.

The 19-year old, whose name was not released, remained fast asleep face down on a stretch of track near Saint Nolff in southern Brittany, as the Quimper to Paris train raced over, leaving only a few grease stains on the back of the idiot’s jacket.

The train’s engineer saw the moron lying on the tracks and slammed on the brakes, but was only able to stop a few hundred meters further on.

“It was his unconscious state that saved him really, as he lay there completely still like a dead body,” said a spokesman for the local police, adding that the clearance under the train is only around 20 centimeters.

Awoken by police and fire fighters who attended the scene, the young man gave a one-fingered salute before rolling over and going back to sleep. He was subsequently transferred to a nearby hospital where police say he is still recovering from his alcohol binge.

The report said that he was coming home from the Saint Nolff music festival.  So I can maybe see that he’s deaf from the concert.  I just want to know what did he drink that made him think that railroad tracks were comfortable to sleep on?