Live Bloging of the 2009 MTV VMAs on Tape Delay

For the first time in many years of watching and all or at least bits of the VMAs almost since their inception, I actually enjoyed all of the music. Some of the performers were old enough to drink and all could sing to some degree. The fact that I actually recognized all of them was a miracle.

So thank you whoever booked the musicians. For the most part you did good. Not counting, of course, the guy who sang in what appeared to be a half shirt illusion with a shit load of body glitter. What was that about.

I’m sure you have at least 78 other chances to see it in the next couple of months. I would recommend DVR-ing or recording it and fast forwarding through Madonna, the commercials and BS to the music which was pretty good for a change. And without further delay what you missed…

Michael Jackson tribute part 1: Madonna sure loves to talk about …Madonna. Her rather long winded goings on about Michael Jackson and how he related to Madonna was annoying.

Michael Jackson tribute part 2: The second or non-suckish part of the Michael Jackson tribute was when a slew of dancers sprang out dancing in sync to the Thriller video and then Bad, Smooth Criminal and ending with Janet dancing in sync with a video of Michael from their video Scream. I must admit I got a bit choked up in the end.

Although I do love Russell Brand and his irreverent sense of humor, I felt like much of his humor sailed right
over the heads of the mostly pre-pubescent audience, not that he was that funny this time around.

For those that may have been on the fence before Kanye West is a wanker. He should never be allowed at award show and should try to back down on the drinking and being around people front. How cool is it to bully a 19 year old girl when you’re drunk? And why did we pan to poor Beyonce during his rant? Did someone think she would stand up and agree?  No, kids she was just as confused as the rest of us. Points to you for giving Taylor her time to finish thanking people.

No points for P Diddy, Puff Danny, HR Puff n’ Stuff or whatever the hell he’s going by these days when not filming reality shows not even I would watch, for trying to play dumb when you got boos for listing Kanye’s name. That would have been disappointing if I had any thought you weren’t a schmuck.

Another trend that I don’t understand is the, I’m too cool to come to an award show unless I make a complete ass of myself with a spectacle of crap. This year’s “Aren’t a I Badass with My Grand Entrance Award” goes to Jay-Z. He chose not to arrive until his performance.  Cameras were there to capture his grand entrance  from the back door and right onto the stage. It made quite an impression on me. You are a man about to turn 40 and can’t be on time like a normal person or buy pants that fit. Grow up.

I must admit I think I love Lady Gaga. I lost track of all of her ridiculous outfits and think more people should bleed and use bedazzled wheelchairs and crutches. Keep the audience on their toes. I never would have thought channeling Leigh Bowery’s fashion sense would be a good thing. I was wrong.

WTF was Jennifer Lopez wearing? I imagine the conversation went something like…

Jennifer: “You know I think I should try something new this time round. I think people are really sick of seeing me in togas and muumuus with the asymmetrical strap at the top.”

Marc Anthony: “OK, Jennifer, how about something a Star Trek bimbo might wear with horrifically ugly shoes and your hair pulled back so tight your tits looks pre-baby?”

Jennifer: “I am so there.”