Trimming the Hedges or Bringing Sexy Back With A Little Yardwork

I’ve almost entirely done away with watching commercials. I DVR  all the network shows I watch and start them 15 minutes into the show just to avoid watching the ads.  Sometimes I catch the odd end of an ad out of laziness.  I should really try not to be so lazy.

Schick has a new razor (the Quattro TrimStyle) that they’re gearing towards women even though their website does not really specify it as such, except in a small note on the spec page. First, let me just say that very little annoys my “harder to reach spaces” (Schick’s words not mine) like a razor designed for women.  I see them on TV and in the stores.  It’s like these companies have some sort of vendetta against women. The discussion with the design team goes something like this:

Clearly women are too delicate or stupid to work with a normal razor. Let’s make it flat and kind of curved –but small so women have to hold their hands in the most awkward and straining position to shave areas that really require precision. But hey, we’ll put a few little useless ridges on it too so it will only slip in one direction when their hands are soapy while contorting on a wet and soapy surface and clenching their fingers in ridiculous positions.

All I can say is thanks.  (Insert the hand gesture of your choice here.)  I can only guess that the same brainiacs concocted what might be the most offensive commercial I have ever seen.

We open on various women walking across the screen. Each passes a topiary that goes from shall we say unruly to neatly trimmed. OK, I get it. Your new razor has a trimmer and will make things look tidy. Fair enough. It wasn’t so much the topiary concept. Pay attention to the shapes of the topiaries. We go from a more organic egg shape to landing strip to triangle. I didn’t get the one with the circles. I don’t know anyone, not that I took a poll, who would or could trim into a circle.

All I can think is, where are those bitches wanting to protect “the children” from lewdness. You got your panties in a wad fast enough for some girls with cereal boxes down their pants.  Are you OK with suggestive shrubbery?

Don’t get me wrong I am not knocking the product. At least its still shaped like a razor.

P.S. – As with most commercials our European cousins got a less subtle version and it has a beat you can dance to, see below: