Student Arrested for Passing Gas

Crimewatch: The Sad and the Pathetic

Martin County, Florida
Other than having three pro football teams and Disney World do we really need Florida as a state of the union? It just seems that state has more knuckleheads per capita than any other. We have a two-fer from Martin County.

On November 4th a 13 year old student at Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested because he “continually disrupted his classroom environment” by purposely breaking wind. I’ve heard of zero tolerance… but wow! There’s a proud parent. How do you explain that one to your boss? “I have to go, my kid’s been arrested for Flatulence with Malice.”

The residents of Martin County can’t seem to stay out of trouble… Pastor Rodney McGill and Shalonda McGill are being investigated by the state of Florida for bilking little old people out of more than $8 million via real estate scams. I would love to know why these two are running real estate scams and not out saving souls. Luckily they are already looking at 30 years apiece in prison. Seems that ripping off people over 65 years of age carries some extra jail time in Florida. My only question, “Who goes to a real estate seminar hosted by a pastor?”

Enough of picking on Florida. What is it with public restrooms in Minneapolis? You remember U.S. Senator Larry “I have a wide stance” Craig. While the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers were getting pounded by the University of Iowa Hawkeyes out on the gridiron. Two Iowa fans were getting it on in the men’s room at the Metrodome. What makes this newsworthy is that (1) they had a cheering section, (2) the cops broke it up and arrested the couple involved in the Hawkeye tryst, (3) the woman was released to her husband, and (4) the guy was released to his girlfriend. Sis, Sis, Boom, Ba!